Couples Counselling

Relationship distress is the single most common reason for seeking counselling. Such distress undermines family functioning and is strongly associated with depression, anxiety, and poor physical health. In modern life, many people have no choice but to increasingly depend on their intimate partners for support and connection. Often the reality for couples, particularly expatriates, is that they appear to functionally live in a community of two. In this context, the quality of their closest relationship becomes increasingly significant in their lives. So what can a couple do when they find their most intimate relationship to be distressing rather than fulfilling?

Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples (EFT; http://www.iceeft.com/) based on a comprehensive, research-based theory of adult love and attachment, provides a well-documented process of healing distressed relationships. The process in EFT is a journey:

  • From alienation, to emotional engagement.

  • From vigilant defense and self-protection, to openness and risk taking.

  • From a passive helplessness in the face of the relentless dance of the relationship, to a sense of being able to actively choreograph that dance.

  • From desperate blaming of the other, to a responsible understanding of how each partner makes it difficult for the other to be responsive and caring.

  • From a focus on the other’s flaws, to the discovery of one’s own fears and longings.

The most important aspect of the journey is that EFT helps move a couple from isolation to connectedness.

If you are wondering how EFT can help you create lasting and positive change in your relationship, please contact jillian@lifematters.jp

> Advocacy & Mediation
> Individual Counselling
> Group Facilitating
> Organizational Consulting
> Repatriation & Cross-Cultural Adjustment
> Services